On a serious subject -

So silly me - it actually did not occur to me that this adoption was a transracial adoption until a couple months into the process. I was very conscious and aware that we had some big cultural differences to think about, but somehow never thought about the race thing. We have a pretty culturally diverse family, and that has never mattered in the family relationships, so maybe I have an excuse. Eventually however I caught on:

1 - there are some people who don't think it is right I adopt a child of a different race.
2 - even more frightening - I have come to realize there are some people who are anti adoption - period. Apparently under most or all circumstances.

I don't really understand either of these views. The beloved Rumor Queen had a posting about item one a couple days ago. For my RQ friends, I am LookingtoChina. Below is a shortened and slightly edited version of my response:

lookingtochina Says: November 19th, 2007 at 4:20 pm

I had never considered any area to adopt from but China -ever since I heard a discussion on the effects of the one child policy on young girls. This was a long standing interest on my part.
My husband is a school teacher and had mentioned adopting or fostering AA or biracial children when we started to talk adoption, as he has enjoyed working with these groups very much in his job.

It was not until I got more into the adoption world that I realized there was some very stong opposition to white families adopting black children. The gist of it seems to be “you white families will never understand what happened to us and so you can never properly prepare and support a black child to an adulthood where they will have to deal with being racially different than the majority”.

Well, OK, all other things being equal it would probably be best for any child to grow up in their own family, and if not their own then a family with similar background.

This is true for our Chinese daughters and sons as well.

Unfortunately all other things are NOT equal. I firmly believe that one of the most basic needs a child has is at least one adult dedicated to helping them navigate the long tough road from infancy to young adulthood. We all need that person who will stand behind us and help us make sense and order of our world and tell us that we are unique and special and loved.

Everything after that is gravy - nice to have, but not required for proper development as a person or to go on and have a successful and happy adulthood.

Unfortunately these very basic things are what institutions lack, and what the US foster system actually destroys.

So if the best options are not available to the child - e.g. their own family ready willing and able to take care of them, then placing them with a family who can provide that basic required foundation is a good thing. At that level it is not important what color the parent and child are. What matters is the proper care for the child and fit for the family.

And dare I say it - it is possible that along with the loss of a family of the same origin there is a possible gain in joining a family of many origins. Many things in life are like that - losses and gains from the same action. We are always balancing the good and bads of most major decisions in our life.

It would be better to have your first family ready willing and able to raise you, but is it BAD that another family with a different background steps in to fill that role when needed. I don’t think it is a bad thing, I think that is a good thing. My child will have a different experience of life being raised in this family, but I will do my darndest to see that it is not a BAD experience.

I will say we were delighted and astonished to find out how much support we could get from FCC and our local Chinese Community. We were not expecting that, but boy am I relieved that the support is available.

I don’t know if we will adopt AA or biracial next, we are rapidly aging out of every option. But if we do it will be because I fervently believe we will be providing that child the best opportunity to go on to a successful life. The heck with the opinion of some social workers!