But for those getting ready to go I want to re-emphasize how much work it will be when you first get back.
That part about jetlag for everyone STINKS and baby will have sleep issue. So will you. Count on it!
I basically did a total crash at 2am yesterday as I was trying to comfort a crying JJ and get her back to sleep. I suddenly realized I was about 3 minutes from losing whatever was left of my dinner. I had a migraine coming on and was getting sick - basically from lack of sleep and exhaustion.
I also had an ephiphany - JJ is 19 months old. It is not my job to put her to sleep at this point, it is my job to teach her how to put herself to sleep. We had picked up some bad habits in the hotel rooms. Out of consideration for everyone in our hallway we did not let JJ cry any more than absolutely necessary. That meant I was waking up every time she started to cry and rubbing her back and if necessary rocking her back to sleep. I continued this for the first couple nights here as well.
Last night it occured to me this can't continue - physically I had to do something different. So tonite we are setting up a different routine.
JJ likes to be rocked to sleep. Good by me, it is a very nice bonding time (after she is done yelling because she wants to keep playing anyway.
She also wants me to come in and rock her back to sleep every time she wakes up. This part has to change - she is still up for 3 or more hours every nite, and I think it is not exactly helping because she gets woken again when I put her down. On the other hand, it is still a new house to her and I don't blame her for being concerned when she wakes up in still strange surroundings.
So last nite, instead of picking up miss 26 pounds and rocking her and putting her back down, I started going into her room and sitting quietly in the rocker. If she cries enough I know it is not just a "sleeping" cry I get up and rub her back for a couple minutes, then go sit back down. I then count slowly to ten. If she is still crying I do it again, but I count to 20, and so on until she calms herself and goes back to sleep. Whatever goes on she stays in the crib.
I really don't want her to wake up and think she is all alone, and I don't think she has connected we are right next door yet, so for now we will try this
Tonight is our test. Suggestions on this one are welcome.
Love Mrs M
2 comments:
May I suggest some books:
Adoption Parenting: Creating a iToolbox, Building Connections
Edited by Jean MacLeod and Sheena Macrae
Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents by Debra D. Gray
Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best
Jet lag is a bear. It took the better part of a week to settle down into a routine with our little one. We co-sleep and have for 10 yrs so I can't offer much advice about crib sleeping. Best wishes for a beautiful new year with JJ.
Jane K
Hang in there - I think you are doing the right thing - almost exactly what we did with LiLi and she is 5 and very nicely bonded! :-) Great to meet you in Hohhot - keep in touch!
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